Christmas

As a child for me Christmas was once magic and festive a time to spend with family and friends and have turkey dinner and exchange gifts. Drive around and look at light displays on people's homes and watch Christmas shows .....Now to me all Christmas does is make you sad, miss people you have lost and turn people into retards and spend too much money they don't have. Don't think I will be celebrating this waste of time holiday next year! :(

Lateral Thinking - Very Amusing :-)

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry final exam. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant thereof. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

The student received the only A grade.

Observation....

I look at the way other people live their lives and it really makes me wonder why do people choose to make things so complicated? I try so hard to keep my life simple uncomplicated, don't get too involved, try to keep my opinion to myself, except for on here of course :)! KISS PEOPLE KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID! Life is so much more enjoyable when you keep things a uncomplicated as you can!

I haven’t been on here for a while and really I am not sure if anyone out even reads what I have to say and I suppose it doesn’t matter really I just write for me and if anyone wants to read it well here it is!

I am part of several social networking sites and have many on line and personal friends there as well as family members but for some reason I find that I can speak more freely on here on my personal blog. I feel like this is a place where I can just be me. I have tried to do that on my other social networking sites and I get flack lots of flack and it is annoying really annoying! I really didn’t think that the things I say evoke such controversy but apparently they do.

All my life I have felt like I really don’t belong anywhere like I don’t fit it and I struggled for years trying to fit in to find my place. The older I get the more I realize that I am not a social butterfly and really have no desire to be one I don’t like it. I can’t pretend to be something that I am not so I am going to stop pretending. A friend told me one time that I needed to get out more, to network and to get involved with the community more, to get to know more people. This person knows more people in the few years that they have lived here then I have over the past twenty-five years that I have lived here. So I started to get out and interact more and to be honest for the most part I really wasn’t enjoying myself. Don’t get me wrong I love good conversation but I really don‘t have time for small talk and pointless gossip. Instead I prefer one on one conversation that has depth and can carry on for hours late into the night. I am the sort of person who prefers a few close friends to a bunch of casual acquaintances. I, well both my husband and I allow very few people into our home, our sanctuary and our personal space. I don’t like it when people stop by my home unexpectedly I feel intruded upon when they do this. I prefer a day’s notice when company is stopping by so I can prepare both physically and mentally this is my personal space after all. I find when people stop by unexpectedly it is as obtrusive as when someone wakes you up in the middle of the night. I don’t like calls after 10:00 pm unless it is an emergency. There are very few people whom I don’t mind if they stop by unexpectedly, very few! These rules of course do not apply to my studio and gallery that is a public place over the day. That is why David and I created it.

I just find the more you get to know people the more you get caught up in the politics of their personal lives and things get complicated and you find out things that you really didn’t want to know about. For the most part I prefer to know people superficially and only a few people in depth and I will choose the few people whom I decide to know in depth. It may sound rude but I find in general people to be annoying especially when you are dealing with their baggage! I hate other people’s baggage.

I love and embrace those I chose to be close to and I have decided that I am not going to feel abnormal because I enjoy my own company, my home, my husband, my cats, my art! If people want to call me anti social or reclusive well go ahead! I don’t get bored when I am by myself there are a million and one things that I can do by myself or with my husband or the few people that I choose to be close to! I don’t need to go to social functions all the time just for the sake of not shutting myself away from the world. I prefer to explore the world and the people in it in my way! I am not an open book I don’t want everyone to know about my personal life and business. I have heard so much about other people’s personal lives and it is mind-boggling and too complicated and I find out things that I really don’t want to know about, hear about or see. I don’t need to know about people’s sex lives REALLY I don’t care! To me sex is a private matter between two people. I prefer to be a mystery. I prefer it when people wonder who I am rather then know everything about me and there is nothing wrong with this.

2010 is the year when I decided to start living life my way not the way others think that I should live it. If people want to think I am weird or anti social because of this that is fine so be it!

If I allow you to get to know me you would see that I am a good person. Honest maybe too honest sometimes. I find that people don’t always like honesty more often then not they prefer the comfort of lies but we know that lies are not comfortable! If you confide in me that confidence is NEVER broken. I however, have had my confidence broken by many people both family and supposed friends. So I choose very carefully when confiding in someone and there are some things that I just don’t say to anyone at all! If my husband and I have a disagreement or issue that we are dealing with I prefer to not broadcast it via the friend and family grapevine. We deal with the issues in our lives privately and that is why our relationship is so strong! I NEVER say rude things about my husband behind his back to family and friends and he does the same for me. Why the fuck would someone what to stay with the person that they talk dirt about and I HATE it when my friend or family talks dirt about their partners. I just feel like telling them why are you with them? Obviously you don’t respect them or love them otherwise you would speak ill of them when they are not around! It drives me nutty when people do this. Then when you see them together they are all friendly with each other I don’t get it and I don’t want to get it I don’t want any part of it! I am happy with my life the way it is and I think people just need to work out their own shit!

My parents did a good job of raising me and no they weren’t perfect and to some degree I suffered the results their imperfections but then we all have because there is no such thing as the perfect parent. All parents make mistakes they are only human after all. I love my folks and thank them for the road they started me on they did the best they could at that time. I am certain if they had it to do all over again my upbringing would have been much different but if we all had it to do all over again all of us would make different choices, right? As an adult I have discovered that my ideals are not my parents ideals, my beliefs are not their beliefs. We don’t have to follow in our parent’s footsteps or even live up to their expectations for that matter! I believe if we realize this we can truly become who we really are not who we are expected to be and that is the path that I chose to walk.

So I just move forward and discover, grow, learn and feel more and more comfortable in my own skin as time goes by. It is very enlightening and gratifying to not live up to others expectations and standards. Just be yourself and the ones who are truly your friends the ones who truly matter will like and accept you for whom you really are and not for whom you think you have to pretend to be.

The one thing that I just cannot tolerate is dishonesty and I see it all the time. With people around me even family. I always say that I will only have real anything in my life. Real love, real friendship etc. nothing fake and I stand by that even if it means that I must stand on my own at times. I am very lucky that my husband feels the same way as I do our paths do parallel each other and for that I am grateful!

YEP IT'S ME AGAIN SAYING THINGS ABOUT STUFF! :)

So once again here I sit in front of my computer feeling somewhat perplexed. I ask myself why am I feeling this way? I guess the whole debate regarding the Olympics is really disturbing me right now because it has opened my eye as to the way that some of the people I know really are. I am trying so hard to stay neutral I am trying so hard to respect others opinions and I am trying so hard to stay open-minded and not fall victim to the herd mentality and hate mongering! I am surprised by how many people I know who are against the Olympics and I lso know some who support the Olympics as well and that’s fine I respect both sides opinion and it is their right to feel the way they do. I have heard various reasons why people don’t support the Olympics and to be honest with you I just don’t know enough about it to just take their word for it and to agree with them. Did these people do their homework? Do they know for certain that what they are saying is actual fact or are they just taking someone other persons word for it? The one thing that life has taught me is whether the information or idea comes from a stranger or friend, before I give my opinion or take sides I first try to do my homework. I try to educate myself and find out as much as I can about the situation as I can and I don’t take anyone word for anything! It is sad but I just find that the Olympics is bringing about such hatred and anger even amongst the people whom I know personally and in my community. It seems to be causing such a division even on line I have even seen loss of friendship over it.

Here is an example a twenty-one year old athlete was killed on Friday during a practice run which was so tragic and I felt so bad for him and his friends and family. First of all it is sad for whatever reason that such a young person should die. He worked so hard to reach his goal which obviously meant so much to him. I don’t know to many people would be willing to devoted that much of their life towards their passion. Most people just talk about doing things but never actually do them. I mentioned this to a friend of mine and they just blew it off and basically said oh well what ever boohoo. I was very surprised at how cold they were. They just basically said well that’s what the media wants to see and to some degree they are right but you can’t eliminate the fact that this person is a fellow human being, well at least I’m not going to. That young man had friends and family and he meant something to someone and now he is gone forever. Even thought I don’t know this man and his family personally I still have compassion for them, if I didn't how could I call myself a loving and decent human being? I am very disheartened by the way my friend reacted to the situation I find it very disturbing that someone could be so cold even if it is someone they don't know!

My mom called me yesterday and was telling me about the protesters in Vancouver. Now if people want to protest that is fine we all have a right to our opinions and the freedom to express them. That is what makes living in Canada such unique and wonderful experience! These people were asked to keep their protest friendly but of course there were those individuals who chose not to. So what do they do they wear masks, which to me indicates their cowardice. If you believe so strongly in something why would you hide behind a mask? You would think they would be proud of what they stand for and show their face! Also these people are destroying other innocent people’s property and the police also found that many of them were carrying alcohol. I would suspect many of them were also under the influence of drugs as well? So these people are protesting with clouded judgment and perceptions. One of these masked individuals told the media that they were doing this for the indigenous people. Ah hello I’m an indigenous person and what I would like to know is how the hell are these people helping me by behaving this way? This is what I mean about people’s head mentality and people feeding off of each others hatred! My father always told me to try to not be hateful. He said hate grows and consumes you with out you even knowing it. Then others start to feed off your hate and the next thing you know an ugly angry mob has been created and he was completely right. I see this happening even with the people I know. Not so much in a violent way but rather in a nitpicking, bickering, getting your digs in and giving negative opinions sort of way and it is tiresome and self-defeating in my opinion.

The day we had the Olympic torch relays go through town I was very excited because a friend of mine was one of those selected to carry the torch. In the twenty-five years I have lived here I think that was the most people I have ever seen gathered in town for an event and I thought the community spirit was so inspiring and it was so much fun to be a part of that. Sadly there were so many people whom I spoke to in person and on my social networking pages who were looking down their noses at the Olympic torch relay celebration. One of the naysayers wasn’t even aware that the town was given a substantial sum of money to pay for the celebrations. So this makes me ask myself, what else are these naysayers not aware of? I just noticed that many of the people who were so negative about the torch relay and the Olympics in general are the ones who are obviously not that happy with themselves or their own lives. They spend their days in their small town sitting in cafes drinking cup after cup of coffee, stuffing doughnuts in their faces and getting bigger and bigger and more and more unhappy with themselves and bitching about pretty much everything around them but doing nothing about it! Why are these people not out doing something more rewarding and productive or fulfilling? Do they not have hobbies or more positive things that they are passionate about? Do they have any passion at all other then the anger that is obviously growing in them? Wow all I can say is what a sad way they have chosen to live their lives. Even though I live in the same small town I don’t ever want to become one of these people.

Everyone talks about how corrupt these big corporations who are supporting the Olympics are and they are right but before we point to many wagging fingers we must all take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves just how truly honest we are! Can you say that you have NEVER done anything dishonest or corrupt in your entire life? Can you say that you have deliberately or inadvertently caused someone pain? I would suspect that most of us would have to say no. I would suspect that many of us will continue to do dishonest things and find ways to justify our actions because that’s what humans do. So why should these large corporations be any different after all human beings run them.

People complain about the footprint that the Olympics are going to leave on this earth and they are right and I hope those involved are doing everything they can to make that footprint as small as possible once the Olympics are over. Again all these people who sit and complain drive cars, purchase packaged foods, wear clothing and consume and pollute in one way or another. As sad as it is, it is virtually impossible to live a modern lifestyle and not leave a footprint behind. I could go on and on but I won’t because I think I have made my point here.

I am not completely happy with everything regarding the Olympics but there is nothing that I can do to change it . I except the fact that it seems when humankind is involved in anything, even when it is supposed to be something good, there to some degree will always be corruption, it is the nature of humankind. So I will take the good things from the Olympics such as how hard the athlete have worked to achieve their goal! I am proud of them and inspired by them to do my best to achieve my personal goals! I also hope our Canadian athletes win lots of gold metals. Many people who knew nothing about Vancouver and British Columbia are now finding out how amazing it is here. Now this is probably not going to affect my little town a great deal but you never know. After all how many people passed through here on their way to the Vancouver 2010 Olympics? Highway number three does go right through our little town. I want our town to grow I know some people don’t want that to happen they would prefer that it stay this way for ever. Well nothing in life ever stays the same and you just have to learn to change with your surroundings and situations. I learned that very quickly after a careless driver killed my father. My happy life as I knew it while he was alive was changed forever, literally with in a few heartbeats now he is gone for ever and David, mom and I have to learn how to live with that and be happy.

Both my husband and I have been feeling the need to meet some new people and make changes in our life. To become successful at what we do which for me is my artwork and for my husband the music writing method that he has designed. We want to move forward and meet people who are outside of the circle of people we already associate with. We want to meet people who inspire us and are open minded and progressive. People who embrace and encourage change. It would be nice to meet people whom we can have interesting conversations with, with out always having to indulge in idol gossip or speak ill of others. I have a few friends who are like that and it is refreshing but sadly we don’t get together as often as we would like because our schedules are so different but when we do we have a good time.

My husband and I are in a very happy strong relationship with each other and sometimes I can’t help but feel that some people resent how close we are. My parents were very close and they encountered this. Their friends would try to separate them and make fun of them wanting to do everything together. I know it sounds cliche but David and I are best friends and actually enjoy each others company we enjoy doing things together. We wouldn't be with each other if we didn't! My parents were also best friends and their relationship outlasted most of their friends relationships as will David and mine! It would be nice if we could meet couples that are happy in their relationships and actually enjoy doing things with each other instead of always wanting to get away from their partner. I just don’t understand why people stay in unhappy relationships it just doesn’t make any sense to me? For some reason they choose to stay together and bitch about each other o their friends behind each others backs which doesn’t solve anything. It seems that they don’t even want to try to work things out with each other and why? No matter how much you love someone you have to work hard at being in a relationship with them, everything isn't going to just fall into place. After all you are two separate people bringing two separate lives together.

So am I asking the universe for too much? No I am not! I know what I am looking for is out there and that I will find it or it will find me!

My Uncanny Story

About fifteen years ago I started a drawing of a nature spirit. I am not sure why but I got tired of the drawing and never completed it. I thought that I had disposed of the drawing as I have with many drawings that I lost my passion for. I don’t know I guess it’s an artist thing and you would have to be of an artist’s temperament to relate to losing passion for something that you created. So fifteen years go by and I forgot about the unfinished art.

As many of you know a careless driver killed my father in November of 2008. About a year after the accident my mom decided to downsize and move to a new place. So some friends of ours and we had the daunting task of cleaning out my fathers workshop. Saying goodbye to the material items of a lost loved one is almost as difficult as losing them. In the blur of emotion as we sorted through my fathers things we came across a tube. I opened it up and was in absolute shock to see the unfinished nature spirit drawing that I thought I had discarded so many years ago. OMG my dad lovingly kept this drawing for fifteen years in hopes that I would some day regain my passion for it and finish it.

I took it home and tucked it away with the intention of completing it some day. I couldn’t deal with it then it was all just far too emotional! Recently we have been framing some of my older work to display in my gallery and decided that I was ready to start working on the nature spirit. So David and I looked and looked and we couldn’t find it anywhere and I was completely devastated. It upset me so badly that my dad had kept this drawing all this time and now I couldn’t find it! I thought maybe it got lost in the move.

Last night while working on one of grandpa’s book illustrations I ran out of pencil leads so I started to look for the package of refills. As many of you know I use a 0.3 mechanical pencil to do all my pencil artwork. I couldn’t find the refills and was getting frustrated so David started helping me look for them. I reached my hand on the shelf under my workbench for the third time and felt a tube of paper there. I pulled it out and to my absolute astonishment it was my unfinished nature spirit drawing. Now you have to understand I have looked in this spot many times and all that was there is a roll of brown paper that I use to wrap my original artwork in when I sell it and nothing else. However, when I put my hand there I felt two rolls the paper and the drawing beside it. I swear to God that the artwork was not there before and I had looked there many times. Even David can confirm this and is a bit shocked by it.

Of course I am delighted and will start working on the drawing to finish it in the honor and memory of my dad. To make this situation more uncanny I had a dream last night and at one point I walked into a restaurant and saw my dad sitting there at a table smiling as he always does when he comes to me in my dreams.

He said to me, ”Did you bring your artwork? I have been telling them about your art.”

I told him that I didn’t. Then he told me, ”You are going to get cold dressed like that.”

I had short sleeved shirt on, I said, ”No I will be fine I have a jacket.” I had my gray sweater in my hand and I put it on the table in front of him. Then I woke up at the same time as David did he woke up laughing he had a funny dream that he told me about later that morning before he went to work.

So I know that I have a very close connection to my dad via this drawing so I must complete it and that is just what I intend to do just for you dad. Thanks for keeping my drawing for all those years and for believing in me.

This morning while David and I were discussing the unusual event that had taken place. David mentioned that several years ago dad had shown him the nature spirit and told him that he hoped I would finish it some day.

Unexpected Sunday Fun

David and I and Maureen and a friend of hers were invited over to Jason’s house on Sunday. David and I know Jason casually we see him at a local bookstore, coffee shop all the time and we also attended a murder mystery dinner with him a while back.

I love to get to know new people and when Jason called and invited us over to his place we were delighted but had no idea what sort of evening to expect and I must say we were pleasantly surprised! It turns out our host was born and raised here in Creston and his family has apparently been here for a long time. He used to work for our local museum so he is was quite a wealth of information. I learned more about our town that evening then I have in the twenty-four years that I have resided here.

It also turns out that he is an avid collector of antiques. His home was filled with some amazing items it was like stepping back in time we should have all dressed in period costumes to help set the mood. Jason was very knowledgeable about every item that he collected as we toured his home and he had many interesting stories to share.

Some of the most interesting items that Jason has collected are his Edison gramophones; he has both the cylinder and diamond disk style. While sipping tea and eating home made scones with preserves and clotted cream (very much like Devon cream) we had the pleasure of listening to both styles of gramophones. I told my mom about this and she said that her parents had a gramophone. I wonder what ever happened to it? That would be a nice keep sake.

The records that we listened to were from the 1920’s and 1930’s. It was amazing it made me think of the old time radio story podcasts that I love to listen to while I do my artwork. We also got to listen to his player piano a first time experience for me. He also had a harpsichord that needed some work done on it but it was again the first time that I had seen a harpsichord. The harpsichord and the harp are my favorite instruments. It has always been my dream to learn the harp they are just to exspensive otherwise I would!

It was a delightful way to spend a Sunday evening and Jason was an excellent host I hope we get the chance to do this again.