It’s a dark rainy day but the one good thing about it is that the snow is melting. I am so glad that we didn’t get much snow this year, not like last year! No I am not a fan of snow or the cold and I don’t like it too hot or sunny either. I am a happy medium sort of gal who likes medium warm weather with lots of clouds and rain and I am a thunderstorm junkie! I know it sounds weird but the weather that many people find depressing. Energizes me.
So what to do on this rainy day? Well after this blog spending time in my beautiful studio sounds good to me. I am in the process of illustrating my grandpa John’s book. Once the illustrations are finished David and I have to put together a draft copy of the book. Then we have to find out what it will cost to print the book, we are looking at a thousand copies to start. I am hoping that I am eligible for some sort of grant maybe a historical one since this is a book about Lakota history I am sure there will be some sort of funding out there for me. I know my mom’s family is anxious for the English version to come out and we have quite a list of people interested in purchasing the book. Grandpa and grandma would be SO excited and so would my dad!
It is awesome that the German version of this book is finally available to the public and Frank, the publisher told me that a lot of copies have been sold so far! My grandpa’s dream is coming to fruition and I am now a published illustrator and when I am finished the English version of grandpa’s book I can add publisher to that list. I am not sure what good these titles will do for me but one never knows what the future may hold.
I am not sure how it is for all artists but for me it is difficult to just go and draw. You don’t turn it on like a water faucet it has to flow naturally. My husband will say Margaux get off the computer and just go and sit in your studio and draw. It doesn’t always work that way I just end up staring at my paper and nothing happens and it freaks me out because I feel like maybe I have forgotten how to draw but then I pick up my pencil or brush and it happens almost like magic. For the most part I don’t even know what the piece will look like I just think of a theme and start somewhere on the paper or canvas. However, if I am distracted by something this will sometimes inhibit my creativity or on the other hand it can make me even more creative, it just depends on the situation.
Some people don’t understand artists, they think we are flaky, daydreamers and are too whimsical and lazy and maybe sometimes we are but what would the world be with out all the amazing things that artist have created through out the centuries. Trying to make a career of being an artist is not easy. Most parents would like to see their children have a good career and would freak out if their child wanted to make a career as an artist, actor, singer, drawing, dancing or musician it doesn’t matter which one. I guess the most important thing is that you have to love what you do it must come from within. I know there are some commercial artists out there who make more money then I do but I have met some of these people and they plod along drawing what they are told to draw and not what comes from their heart. Some of them seem quite unfulfilled even though they are doing something creative.
Not sure why but I feel anxious today and a bit grumpy and antisocial I get that way sometimes. I like to go out and interact with others and socialize every now and then but for the most part I prefer to be on my own in my studio or in front of my computer. I am not one of these people who have the need to be entertained every night. Both David and I are very private people. I prefer it when people call before they stop by. When we opened the gallery just having people come in off the street was hard to get use to. This is the main reason why the gallery is totally separate from our home. Speaking of the gallery I guess I really should get out there and get off this computer. Just feeling a bit off today and not too sure why so I figured a blog session would help me sort things out or at least vent.
We all have a gift this I firmly believe to be true. Sometimes I find it ironic that here I am almost totally blind and my gift is to draw ultra-detailed drawings, what’s up with that any way? Why couldn’t my gift have been being a good accountant or some other skill that would have made for a far more practical career, something that would allow me to bring more of an income to our household what I do seen so impractical?
OOPS I am getting a bit off track here I guess now that I think about it I am feeling a bit stressed because my husband has to go to a neighboring town with his boss to do some work and I am very worried. I hate it when we have to travel at this time of the year. Every time someone I love has to go out on the road I have this unreasonable fear that something really bad is going to happen to them. This is something that I have been grappling with ever since my dad was killed by that careless driver in November 2008. I know I should be over it by now I mean come on Margaux it has been over a year. I hate feeling this way and it is completely irrational, I know. My dad’s accident was a total fluke if he had been only a few seconds slower it would have been a close call instead of an accident that caused the loss of someone I love very much. David is very careful especially after dad’s accident because he knows how many careless people are out there on the road. I just don’t know how to get over this feeling and it really annoys me! Anyway I guess it is my baggage something I am just going to have to deal with. I am sure there are others out there who have the same worries about the ones they love. I think the fact that I don’t see well and can’t drive makes it difficult for me to understand the whole road thing and how it works and just how safe or dangerous it really is. I am hoping that this feeling will pass as time goes by. I never use to feel this way not with this intensity any way. I don’t think my dad would want me to feel this way either. He would tell me to smarten up!
It is funny how expressing yourself on the World Wide Web can be some what therapeutic and thank you for taking the time to read my blog. A couple glasses of Merlot help also heeheehee!
So what to do on this rainy day? Well after this blog spending time in my beautiful studio sounds good to me. I am in the process of illustrating my grandpa John’s book. Once the illustrations are finished David and I have to put together a draft copy of the book. Then we have to find out what it will cost to print the book, we are looking at a thousand copies to start. I am hoping that I am eligible for some sort of grant maybe a historical one since this is a book about Lakota history I am sure there will be some sort of funding out there for me. I know my mom’s family is anxious for the English version to come out and we have quite a list of people interested in purchasing the book. Grandpa and grandma would be SO excited and so would my dad!
It is awesome that the German version of this book is finally available to the public and Frank, the publisher told me that a lot of copies have been sold so far! My grandpa’s dream is coming to fruition and I am now a published illustrator and when I am finished the English version of grandpa’s book I can add publisher to that list. I am not sure what good these titles will do for me but one never knows what the future may hold.
I am not sure how it is for all artists but for me it is difficult to just go and draw. You don’t turn it on like a water faucet it has to flow naturally. My husband will say Margaux get off the computer and just go and sit in your studio and draw. It doesn’t always work that way I just end up staring at my paper and nothing happens and it freaks me out because I feel like maybe I have forgotten how to draw but then I pick up my pencil or brush and it happens almost like magic. For the most part I don’t even know what the piece will look like I just think of a theme and start somewhere on the paper or canvas. However, if I am distracted by something this will sometimes inhibit my creativity or on the other hand it can make me even more creative, it just depends on the situation.
Some people don’t understand artists, they think we are flaky, daydreamers and are too whimsical and lazy and maybe sometimes we are but what would the world be with out all the amazing things that artist have created through out the centuries. Trying to make a career of being an artist is not easy. Most parents would like to see their children have a good career and would freak out if their child wanted to make a career as an artist, actor, singer, drawing, dancing or musician it doesn’t matter which one. I guess the most important thing is that you have to love what you do it must come from within. I know there are some commercial artists out there who make more money then I do but I have met some of these people and they plod along drawing what they are told to draw and not what comes from their heart. Some of them seem quite unfulfilled even though they are doing something creative.
Not sure why but I feel anxious today and a bit grumpy and antisocial I get that way sometimes. I like to go out and interact with others and socialize every now and then but for the most part I prefer to be on my own in my studio or in front of my computer. I am not one of these people who have the need to be entertained every night. Both David and I are very private people. I prefer it when people call before they stop by. When we opened the gallery just having people come in off the street was hard to get use to. This is the main reason why the gallery is totally separate from our home. Speaking of the gallery I guess I really should get out there and get off this computer. Just feeling a bit off today and not too sure why so I figured a blog session would help me sort things out or at least vent.
We all have a gift this I firmly believe to be true. Sometimes I find it ironic that here I am almost totally blind and my gift is to draw ultra-detailed drawings, what’s up with that any way? Why couldn’t my gift have been being a good accountant or some other skill that would have made for a far more practical career, something that would allow me to bring more of an income to our household what I do seen so impractical?
OOPS I am getting a bit off track here I guess now that I think about it I am feeling a bit stressed because my husband has to go to a neighboring town with his boss to do some work and I am very worried. I hate it when we have to travel at this time of the year. Every time someone I love has to go out on the road I have this unreasonable fear that something really bad is going to happen to them. This is something that I have been grappling with ever since my dad was killed by that careless driver in November 2008. I know I should be over it by now I mean come on Margaux it has been over a year. I hate feeling this way and it is completely irrational, I know. My dad’s accident was a total fluke if he had been only a few seconds slower it would have been a close call instead of an accident that caused the loss of someone I love very much. David is very careful especially after dad’s accident because he knows how many careless people are out there on the road. I just don’t know how to get over this feeling and it really annoys me! Anyway I guess it is my baggage something I am just going to have to deal with. I am sure there are others out there who have the same worries about the ones they love. I think the fact that I don’t see well and can’t drive makes it difficult for me to understand the whole road thing and how it works and just how safe or dangerous it really is. I am hoping that this feeling will pass as time goes by. I never use to feel this way not with this intensity any way. I don’t think my dad would want me to feel this way either. He would tell me to smarten up!
It is funny how expressing yourself on the World Wide Web can be some what therapeutic and thank you for taking the time to read my blog. A couple glasses of Merlot help also heeheehee!
Someone told me once - or I read it somewhere - that every time you think of your loved one that has passed on - it's a way of remembering them. So the way I figure it - don't ever "get over" losing someone - it's always good to remember - the hurt does pass. I lost a husband 17 years ago and I was shocked how long it took to be able to remember him with fondness and humour - even tho lots of people did tell me a year is nothing in the grieving process - and they're right.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your posts and can relate a lot.